Posts
Names of some identifiable theaters, towns and country music stars have been edited to protect Josh from identifying Google searchs. CAPITALIZED NOUNS indicate my only edits to his posts.
Fans, who wish to track Josh's ongoing travels can read his previous entries here. This is the final emailed entry from Josh's travels.
On The Road With Josh #10:
T-RO Tour Ends
Ohmagooooodness! After living out of a suitcase, forgetting the date/town/next town/time of day, and dealing with all sorts of colorful peoples across the US, FINALLY, the end is nigh. Now I know I can tour for five months and be okay ('cause I was worried…)
Flagstaff, AZ to Grand Junction, CO
Again, because I am just so damned amazed, the amount of uninterrupted space out west is confusing and humbling; confusing because we live in a country where uninterrupted space seems like a waste of time and potential, and humbling because regardless of who you are or who you think you are or what you do, everyone is made equally pathetic next to the mesas, mountains, canyons, and natural colors and shapes out west.
Grand Junction was just a stopover place on our way to Avon, but we were there long enough to eat at the Black Bear Diner, where one could feast his eyes on some of the truly "special" people of Colorado. The place began as a bed and breakfast for weary travelers and workers up in the mountains of Northern California. Eventually it became so popular for it's food and hospitality that a chain developed. It is now run by Bob Manley and Bruce Dean, or as they like to call themselves "Papa Bear" and "Sugar Bear." I wish I were kidding…. Anyway, the lodge-décor diner is really comfy and does indeed have wonderful food, and pie… oh muh guh, the pie. The night we were there must have been "Frosted Tips Night", though, because 75% of the women there, including little girls I think, had frosted tips. Ya know, to create "a look" of attractiveness, some believe frosted tips help frame the face. I believe they help frame your age.
Lesbians seem to love Colorado, at least in Grand Junction. We're not talking nice, creative, smart, attractive, selfless lesbians… no no. We're talking "I'll punch you in the gooch if you don't give me a piece of that pie" lesbians. Ooooo, heavens they was out with an eye full o' business, those lesbians. And I did have to wonder, why on earth would these women position themselves in one of the greatest confluence of wooded forests and mountains, the very natural symbols of male and female? The only answer: no pain, no gain.
Avon, CO/Beaver Creek, CO is gorgeous. Of course it is, it's right in between Vail and God. We performed at the performing arts center in the 2-mile high resort village of Beaver Creek. At night, it looks like the exact replica of one of those light-up Christmas villages that everyone goes nuts over at Hallmark stores. The house of the center was all heavy wood honey-stained paneled, with excellent acoustics, the wing-space was plentiful, and the staff was all sorts of knowledgeable. We had some trouble getting the damn columns in. The two downstage columns which weigh the most and are the tallest had to be lifted down two floors on a pulley, making load-in a little longer than we would have liked, but the space and the time we were there was worth the effort. The stage manager and I have this routine that we have perfected when we need some ego boosting or at least an outlet to vent. It's called load-in mic check. Yes indeed, we take our favorite blocks of text from the play, or personality traits that bug us about the actors, and we basically spend a good 20 minutes putting on a show for the venue crew and our own crew. The actors aren't there, and plus they actually know about it….well, they know about the stuff that we showed them, anyway….the other stuff is still on the down low….making fun is so enjoyable… Oh never fear, we make fun of ourselves all the time because we know we're pathetically ridiculous. The venue set out a phenomenal spread for breakfast and lunch on our performance day, and who knew that split pea and ham soup was good? Furthering my belief that folks in Colorado are "special," this is the conversation I heard outside my hotel room. I can only assume these were snowboarder/ski/slope bunny types, all male, all yelling what they were saying with that kind of laid back, dude-bro kind of accent found on the west coast:
"…I've been wearing the same shoes, well not these shoes, but the same shoes, I mean, like, the same model for like three years now. And I went to get some more, cause I have this pair that I don't touch at the back of my closet, cause ya know, but I went to the clearance table, where I got 'em before, and they were like gone! I mean they were nowhere. 'Cause that's where you can find shit, ya know? And the sales dude showed me a pair of these like grandpa shoes, and I was like those aren't my shoes, ya know? I mean, fuck that, I'm not buying that. I don't wanna look like a grandpa, and shit. But I'm like, aw, man, my shoe is discontinued. But no, yeah, BMX stuff, like the BMX stuff, I'll where the BMX stuff. 'Cause I've been doin' BMX for like years now. Like, last time I skated was like a year ago, so…. Yeah we're probably gonna have some more drinks or something, but I mean, I say a lot of stuff, ya know, so…."
Do straight men really have conversations like this?! Or is this just the magic of Colorado shining brilliantly in the night. Hi-larious.
Colorado to Oklahoma City, OK
We drove 580 miles in a day…we drove through a bit of Nevada, New Mexico, and Texas to get to Oklahoma City….quois? I hardly believe this myself. The route we took was actually shorter than had we continued east on I-70 and then south on 15. The drive was actually kind of enjoyable, if for no other reason than to see the change in road kill from state to state. We went from moose to deer, to fox, to armadillos, to antelope, to more armadillos, and finally to squirrels and chickens. Fascinating, huh? I mean, I'm used to a rabbit or raccoon or skunk, but this was like some demented Discovery Channel special…could you imagine that? Road kill Across America…I think people would watch it…. The only real downsides were stopping at each state's Port of Entry, explaining whom we are, paying money for a permit that would only affect the two hours we were driving in that state, and the fact that our trucks are governed at a speed of 65 on 70mph roads. We had a 10-hour drive in an 11-hour day, so the actors got some nice invasion pay….booo….and hisssss.
Oklahoma was fine. In a fair hotel, had a break from traveling which was nice…um but then the venue…. We were in a high school theatre…. The "venue" had ignored our line set schedule, specs, ignored the light plot we advanced two weeks prior, and ignored cleaning the entire stage dressing rooms. This was a PACA (President's Advisory Counsel to the Arts) venue, meaning some wealthy white person brought us here and paid for everything…and this was the best that could be done?! Thank GOD the cast was there to help with load in along with the six high school brats who didn't really know what they were doing, but at least wanted to help and be there. We spent five hours after the two-hour load in cleaning the stage. FIVE HOURS! There was dust, sawdust, a table saw, old scenery, over-spilled garbage cans, school assembly and homecoming crap clogging the "wings," a messy crossover in the tiny "scene shop," uneven floor panels, faulty electrical equipment….I could go on. Not blaming the kids on this one, no this was the school and the PACA member's problem…and it was not attended to. I was at the high school from 1pm top 10pm….this is ridiculous. After costumes and props were done, I basically stayed another five hours just to make sure the place was performance-ready. We had to hang all two hundred lights, had to readjust cyc and scrim, borders and legs, all the stuff that was supposed to be done ahead of time. If I were a high school "TD," and I knew the NAME OF WELL KNOWN ARTS INSTITUTION THAT JOSH WORKED FOR was bringing a show to my shitty theatre in two weeks time, I would do everything I could to make sure I put my best foot forward, not have the load in turn into a "hey kids, let's clean up the theatre" day. The shows went well on both days, though, and PACA provided sandwiches and good eats. They also gave us goody bags filled with all things locally Oklahoma, including buffalo sticks, chili mix, and white chocolate popcorn (so good.)
The lessons of storage and organization for efficiency, safety, and oh, I don't know, professionalism have become increasingly more important to me, and that it can sometimes become the single most important selling point of a person or place. Sure messes happen, sure things get knocked about, but just because that occasionally happens doesn't mean that it always should.
Onto Glen Ellyn, IL, and our last venue. We have an easy load-in, and an easy load out, we're staying at a Hampton Inn (praise Him), and it makes no difference what the drive is like back to DC, 'cause I'm done. So, what I learned was that the "real theatre" that so many people talk about is actually not any more real than the theatre you're all ready doing wherever you are. There might be some augmentations, but when it comes to reality, you're in it. Equity does not mean good, IATSE does not mean skilled, bigger does not mean better, money does not mean best, and if you think all of that is too negative and not "real" then you are in some serious blinded denial and need to grow up and out of the safety of your own bullshit. Here's wishing you all sorts of challenges and experiences yet to come, and the courage and humor to take them on. Thanks for reading and responding. Ciao for niao.
Joshua
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